I remember when I first heard about people doing it in high school and by the time I was sixteen it seemed like everyone had gone all the way but I made it all through high school without giving in. I didn’t even succumb to the pressure in University where you are some kind of anomaly if you hadn’t done it already.
People often ask me why I haven’t done it yet and I can give them a variety of answers: I’m not ready, I’m not interested in it, I don’t want to get that close to people, I’m really private but I don’t even believe any of those excuses anymore. one thing I do know is that I’ve always like the novelty of being really pure and untainted by it because it set me apart.
Lately, I’ve been realizing that I already stand out in other ways and I need to stop making it so difficult for people to connect with me. Also, if I want to do something I should just do it. But after waiting so long it probably made it even more difficult because it was built up so much. Planning these things is really weird… since they’re supposed to just happen naturally but I think about everything too much so this has become a big deal.
I did it on June 15th. I’ll always remember that date because you never forget your first time. It wasn’t an extraordinary day, I went to work, was sitting at my desk and reading the news when I came across a story in the Jakarta Post about how people all over the world are doing it. They discussed the positives and quoted statistics on how Indonesia has the highest growth in people doing it, nearly 150% by the most recent statistics even if they are among the smallest in terms of penetration.
I don’t know why that article hit me. It’s not news to me that everyone does it but I guess if I was going to do it then it would probably happen here and I`d been seriously thinking about doing it for a while. It was a combination of being across the world, alone, meeting new people and the fact that I`d be going home in a week and I wanted to do it before I left.
I texted a guy I barely knew and asked if he would do it with me. He replied “Of course!” I’d be pretty offended if he didn’t. I had asked him because I know that he has a lot of experience with these sorts of things and I felt a little more comfortable because he didn’t really know me or realize how monumental this was.
We started slowly and I was ok. This was like a lot of things that I had done before and I know a lot about doing it because of my friends’ experiences. I was not as smooth as I would have liked to be and burst out laughing a few times, buried my face in my hands and we had to stop but I was determined to follow through with this.
I actually freaked out by the time we got to the third step and just waited a few minutes, ate some food and had a mango milkshake. I took the plunge and just clicked. It was the most awkward thing at first because I didn’t know where to start and had no idea what to do. After a while doing it was easier and I just wanted to keep going but I got kind of bored so I stopped.
In less than 30 minutes it was all over. It’s funny, I had resisted doing it for so long and then it was over, just like that. I don’t know what I expected. I always thought that everything would fall into place after I did it. I thought I would automatically have all the friends in the world, get invited to all the best events and be enlightened by some new wealth of information that I was never exposed to. I thought that my entire life would flash before my eyes in a thousand snapshots and that I would be changed but I didn’t feel different at all.
I wondered if I would just regret it in the morning and at times I did. I’m still not sure what repercussions there are to my actions since I haven’t even looked at myself in two days. I can only imagine what has become of me though since my inbox was flooded with over a hundred messages. I deleted them all and I considered deleting my account too but I can’t pretend this didn’t happen. I’m just going to have to actually deal with all this because there is no going back after you lose your Facebook virginity.